you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
