is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize