In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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