I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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