it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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