it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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