just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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