You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Less talking, more tequila
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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