He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
