I want to walk on stilts...naked
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
