Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
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I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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