I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
