You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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