Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize