I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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