i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize