i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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