I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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