I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
