Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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