While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The cops high fived after they tackled you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize