Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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