I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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