and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
