so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
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Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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