I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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