She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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