can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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