I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
