Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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