Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
