why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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