if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
