this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
