you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
