I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
