Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
