She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
