she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
