I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
