Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
