i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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