We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
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You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update