Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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