I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you