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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

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• (207): View more from Maine

  at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot

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• (916): View more from California

  Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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• (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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• (771): View more from

  i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service

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