new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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