I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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