Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
