well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
