So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize