You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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