I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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