She's JV to your varsity
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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