what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
