This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
