Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
