He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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